oh dear it happened again

very hot here, needed to do some shopping.  drive about 20miles to a very cheapo place.

 Felt ok, enter the supermarket and i’m not good AGAIN.  Decide to abandon and went to find staff to appoligise stuff in trolley i dont feel well I want to leave.    But as i found a young lady she looked shocked, I was saying something sounding drunk, and although i did not realise i was going over 😦   crushed all the boxes of pasta doing so.    All other customers vanished of course!!!    The manager helped me to their rest room and the panic went nuts again from there.  So humiliating in public 😥   Ambulance arrived x2  all sirens (heard that)  8 emergency crewe decend on me.  I’m now trying to tell them NO EFFIN HOSPITAL.   Wait learn and watch it will go……..  30 mins it passed but one lady doctor who arrived could not belive the heart rate (like last time)  and she touched my stomach, then about 20mins later dispite me sweating like hell and shaking very bad she touched again.   Told me its passing now.

 MMMMmmm   She realised something very odd.  The panic is what i get for sure its the result, but she then told me its intestinal or bowel and to have it looked at.   Its putting pressure on the liver that then sends the adrenalin uncontrolled causing the panic reaction.

 Well fuck me almost 5yrs of this and i think she is very correct.   To think, yes if i have toilet probs I get panics or dont feel I can leave the house.  In plain terms if i’ve not had a shit i cant go out!!!!

Well no hospital this time thankfully but It was not very nice at all in front of everyone. 😦   pissed off.


2 Responses to oh dear it happened again

  1. chanda says:

    the good thing about this is that you got a new perspective on the situation (that you yourself had overlooked). Are you going to take her advice and get it checked out and maybe get this at least under control?

  2. Shelley says:

    I’m sorry to hear things are still rough for you. But at least there’s something new to investigate to help you feel better. I know you hate doctors, but maybe there’s a way to get this under control now. Take care of yourself baby. You’re in my thoughts and prayers! xXx

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