illness Panic attacks

My illness has not given up…  bugger it.  Panic attacks, heated flushes…  really heated.  Freezing feet and hands, sick, hot, cold, shake.  You get the picture.

I’ve decided its stress related causing a nervocity of the stomach and or intestines.

I got stressed the other day, over nothing more than having to wait for some thick daft cunt to work faster than water evaporates (post office french person).  I flushed hot, and I burn my chest was roasting and panic started.  At home the internet failed (actually already was down 5days) I had to ring some patronising git, where of course its my PC etc etc.   Shouting at said git its not my PC its your servers as 2 internet keys and 2 mobile phones cant connect to the net refused at your server WHY? 

I got  nowhere, french people never admit fault, they spend hours wasting precious oxygen in order to tell you its not their fault and even if it was they have no responsibility anyway.    In other words; ‘they dont give a fuck either way’

Very very soon after I panicked almost threw up and …..    i was ill and as usual convinced i’ll be found dead alone with no one to help.  The things the mind does to you.  I’m no doctor as I suspect neither is my actual doctor.  So now I’m eating soft easy foods, refusing to deal with anything stressy.  Taking bucket loads of magnesium and some stuff to remove the gas from stomach.  I feel a bit better.  Not great but I’ve been ill as shit since October (winter depression, and worry over cold etc)  wonders?

Well I am starting this year off on a new note.   “Pass the fucking stress on”  if I have to get sressed out over stuff then I’m sure as hell gonna ensure some other bugger gets to enjoy it also.

fuck ’em.


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