brief list of where was i?

Gone for around 15 months end 2007 until 2009.
Those that care, here is a list of what I did.

go thown out of where i was living (evicted of sorts).
went fishing .
helped cut wood in forest.
drove a tractor.
dragged a trailer.
reversed a trailer (yeah well i still cant, attempt 699.8 and i gave up)
helped cut a suicide attempt down (hanging) (that everyone thought was me!!!)
sang karioke.
stopped drinking (tea total utterly now).
went on kids fairground rides (others drunk not me).
did sexy dancing very very pissed off french at local event…. english decided music was morbid and boring so we sexed it up….. people still mention it.
towed a caravan.
improved my spoken french about 300000000000%.
totally made a garden from waste land to finished.
caused a fight.
broke up a fight.
slapped a bigger guy for trying to cause another fight.
found a really nice friend who has helped me throughout perhaps the worst times.
visited a prison twice.
refused to do the census.
refused to pay tax (still refusing in fact…… i wont budge)
painted all the outside shutters.
washed the car (its an event really)

not a lot but the events of a boring life where money is never much, and there is nothing to do even if it was.

Still cannot believe I sang karioke SOBER!!!!!

This made me giggle

clicky linky for the site

Why Does God Hate Trailer Trash?

Deer Pasture,

Me and my momma useta live in Pine Glen Luxury Mobile Home Park. We had us a reel nice singul-wide with a sattulite TV dish and a inflasion swimming pule and us and all are naybors wuz real happy and everything. But last month we wuz sleeping and a giunt tornaydo come in the middle of the nite & smasheded up all are traylurs and sucked my momma right out of bed and smacked up gainst are propane tank . And my bestest frend Danielynn got throwed into a crick before a trackter landed on top of her. I herd that traylers get recked by tornaydos all the time, so im just wondering for how come the Lord hates are guts so dang much.

– Brianna

Dear Brianna,

As Noah’s arkless neighbors discovered long ago, somewhat inclement weather is a sign of the Lord’s peevishness. Indeed, tornadoes have long been referred to by True Christians™ as “the twirling fingers of the Lord,” which He uses to poke and scratch at scabs and obliterate things that displease Him. Among those things, quite clearly, are trailer parks – which the Lord delights in effortlessly flicking into a blizzard of cheap plywood toothpicks and flying corduroy recliners into the sky whenever the mood strikes Him.

But why, with all the sinning going on in the world by crazy Muslims and other folks who worship cats and livestock, does the Lord have such particular, seasonal animosity towards Christians who dwell in mobile homes, you wonder?

Scripture, as always, provides the answer. For Jesus was rather specific in His preferred choice of home construction. “And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” Matt. 7:25

What Jesus is saying is that only stupid, cheap, trashy people build their houses on a set of rubber wheels or some stolen cinderblocks — and that He wants nothing to do with them.. The type of people He loves has substantial residences built on solid rock foundations. In other words, not you.

As anyone who enjoys attributing bromides to the Bible will tell you, “God helps those who help themselves.” Since most trailers in the United States are bought by FEMA, they are the shelter of last resort for the poor, lazy and waterlogged. If these folks knew anything about helping themselves, they wouldn’t need a FEMA trailer in the first place. So even if Jesus saw fit to Hoover your mother up from her disintegrating linoleum as she knelt in prayer to Him, or violently hurl elderly Medicare leeches into the highest branches of towering spruce trees and cell phone towers, it is not ours to question why! Perhaps if residents of your community had shown enough drive and perseverance in life, they could have taken up residence on a God-approved cul de sac of two-story fieldstone colonials with solid rock foundations. And then everyone would still be alive today. Ever wonder what the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah were living in? According to Creation Science Archeologists it was, of course, trailers! So, it sounds like you folks got off rather lightly with just a patch of bad weather. I suggest you stop your whining, as Jesus hates that even more.

-Pastor Deacon Fred

White house .org

A site dedicated to that insufferable prick george ‘w’ Bush
clicky linky here

its ended………. sadness. was so funny to read but clearly no bush/twat no news.

Afternoon naps

I dont often partake the napping in the afternoon, but with little else to do today i slipped into one.

Why do you fall into such a deep sleep in the afternoon???

I can sleep 12hrs at night wake up feeling quite shit but aware and ready to begin the day (remaining).

Not after a 30min snooze in the afternoon though…… i wake feeling lost confused, my mouth dry like someones been at it with a hair dryer or sand paper. I cant remeber what day it is or time, i’m convinced i’ve slept through and lost a day …… etc etc

Words for the week

this week i bring you :

Palliard – professional beggar
Miscegine – person of mixed origin (is this where MISC comes from??)
Squab – fat clumsy person
Venally – for sale / goods.
Sforzando – forced or to force
Ianthine – violet coloured
Trouvaille – a happy find

Excellent word of the week for me is:
Thunder-plump – heavy rain in a thunderstorm! So no longer is it “really pissing it down”, it would be a thunder-plump.

enjoy……….

Acer Aspire one ab110 (i’m unhappy) its fucked!

My lovely little sexy snatch-top is fucked! 2 MONTHS of very very limited use and its fucked.

One of the USB ports keep switching out.
The fan now grinds and makes noises like an electric shaver.
More serious than that: ITS WARPED! the heat it creates has warped it, its no longer sitting flat, the front edge by the touchpad has lifted distorted by heat also. I’d say its TOTAL use in 2 MONTHS has been 6 HOURS.

Awaiting email reply from Acer…. I expect some fast action and exchange to take place.

Confidence is slipping away, I dont like things going wrong……

French taste alert…

Another delve through various adverts to produce this collection of horrors.

French have fuck all taste. Houses for sale are either NEVER updated since the year of construction 1940 -50 -60 etc or clearly too small for all the crap to be stored.

enjoy…… cool features, tasteful bathrooms and internal deccor you know you really want ……

spot the spacious living room.. you trip over on the way to the kitchen.
spot the refurbished bathroom… errr sink.
spot the feature staircase ….. well try at least……

the bathroom that can be anyway up or round ….. pink mats hint which is correct way.

visit ikea with no ideas how to upgrade your hallway…… stick on vinyls errrrmmm… …… i hope they come off!

My fave is the well. what could you do with such an amazing feature? glaze it over and put the shittiest table ever over it!! obvious..

Ebay Hong Kong ?

It should be noted just how many sellers are in HK, Hong Kong. Often they HIDE the fact and use =default= = default= as location. Watch that as its a huge collection of sellers working together. There are also many many that say location Gemany or USA but are in fact in Hong Kong.

I agree they sell very very cheap, but the grade of goods are often equally cheap or in some case FAKE.

I almost bought a camera CF card last night, seller had a 97.6% rating yet around 24500 feedbacks!!!! alert alert, so look at their profile and you’ll see 100 odd negatives or more a month and equally more nuetrals. people complain the seller is NOT in USA as stated but HK, and the goods are inferior and shit.

Drifting through many other profiles I see most get a wrap for selling reprogrammed flash memory 8GB cards that are in real 512KB!!!!!

This is NOT true that everyone sells shit or faked stuff. But you should watch out. 0.01c ‘buy it now’ and 23.99 postage! refund if it does not arrive? 0.01c i’m guessing.

The major major problem with buying from Hong Kong ebayers is they lie about postage times. 99% LIE. they charge you AIRMAIL rate and they say 5-10 business days delivery. What they ALL do is put it via land/sea and it takes 20-30 days ! Litterally the slow boat from China.

I’ve had good and bad getting stuff from HK. But i imagine its an enormous organisation with 100’s of little sweat shops packing and loading. wording adverts feedbacks …. seem to be the same seller across many accounts.

Good deals to be had, but look harder before you buy. and expet a month or 6wks delivery.

One item previously purchased went faulty and i got a lovely email however so not all are crap.
….
Hello,
my friend.
Thank you for your email.
Sorry our product trouble you so much.Maybe there is something wrong with it.

but we have very carefully examined before shipped out.

since the international aimail fee beyond the item itself.

how about we half refund you without asking you to return the item?

we are looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.

we apologize again!

it’s my honor to serve for you.

you are welcome and have a nice day.

Icons avatars

A selection stolen from here and there for you

Keeping the internet free

I think everything on the net should be free. I think it should be kept free.

Most sites are funded by advertising…. dubious bastard adverts that pop up, down, sideways and all over the feckin place. A lot of sites now wont load until you allow pop-ups and the second you do the bastard ads start… loans, insurance, phones …… etc etc

So whilst i’m trying to look up what car charger my snatch top needs i’m bugged by fucking Orange and SFR ads all over the place …………. so i click them! I can be sure the advertiser is genuine and trusted so I click them…….. over and over clicky click clicky clicky clic. Why? well those advertisers PAY the site when their ads are clicked……….. so make them PAY a lot until you get bored clicking and closing….. They’ll be paying out megga bucks and get zero revenue for it. enjoy CLICK THOSE ADS

Same goes for publicity in the mail. very annoying but you can keep people employed when you stuff the publicity back in the post-paid envelope and post it back. The postal service gets revenue, the junk mailers get their crap back… and the best bit; they PAY to get the crap back. You may wish to vary it buy stuffing any old junk in from other mailings. enjoy POST THAT MAIL

People are getting useful employment and sites are receiving revenue. and it dont cost you anything to ensure they get the message not to bombard you with crap…….